In an attempt to try to reach out to his grandkids over the airwaves, actor Jon Voight made a minor mistake. Voight chatted it up with reporters on the red carpet at this year's BAFTA Tea Party in Britain (the British Oscars.) After giving his blessings to Angelina Jolie's oldest, Maddox, Voight mistakenly sent his greetings to Shakira(video here). Meaning of course to say his grand-daughter's name, Zahara, Voight started over and made no mistake the second time around.

The media has already begun to spin this stroy out of control and not in the favor of the veteran actor. Jolie and gang have not had contact with Voight since an outburst he made a couple years ago on TV in regards to Jolie needing to seek help for her apparent mental problems. Jolie, who once made out with her brother on tv and who once wore a vial of Billy Bob Thorton's blood around her neck could surely stand to benefit from some minor mental therapy.

Also in Voight's defense, Jolie has given her clan nearly un-memorizable names. Maddox, Zahara, and Shilo Nouvel? You might as well have named all the kids pi and then expect Voight to ramble off the number with no problem. Why couldn't she have just used Matt, Sarah, and Shelly?

According to Father Gabriele Amorth, who is Pope Benedict XVI's "caster out of demons," Hitler, Stalin, and the nations that followed them were all possesed by Satan at the time.

"You can tell by their behaviour and their actions, from the horrors they committed and the atrocities that were committed on their orders. That's why we need to defend society from demons,"said the Demon Caster Outer.

Is there a true-er Axis of Evil that we should be defending ourselves against? Should our current administration expand on the already existing War on Terror to also include those possesed by Satan and how would we battle against such foes?

"Of course you can pray for someone from a distance but in this case it would not have any effect. One of the key requirements for an exorcism is to be present in front of the possessed person and that person also has to be consenting and willing."

While Father Amorth currently resides as the world's only leading expert in exorcisms, one has to ask, "Why would Satan consent and be willing to be exorcised?"

Regardless of personal religious beliefs, people are seeming to be confronted with these types of stories and issues the world is becoming more and more polarized between 'good' and 'evil'. There is a choice to be made in this life for everyone. A choice to accept something or deny something. The challenge, readers, is to get informed and make up your minds one way or the other.

Warren Steed Jeffs was taken into custody today in southern Nevada. Jeffs is the leader of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, a sect of Mormonism. He was wanted under suspicion of sexual misconduct for allegedly arranging marriages between underage girls and older men.

It pains me deep inside my heart when I hear of crime like this involving children. What hurts second to that pain is the use of Christ's name in connection to this group. Jesus would NEVER and will NEVER support any groups such activities. Jeffs is lucky Jesus is in the business of forgiving everybody who asks because otherwise, I believe there is a special layer of hell reserved just for him.

Iranian President Ahmednejad has declared world wide that nobody can stop his nation and that they will continue to develope their nuclear capabilities.

"We think the special privileges that America and Britain are taking advantage of today are the origin of all disturbances in the world," he said. "I suggest holding a live TV debate with Mr. George W. Bush to talk about world affairs and the ways to solve those issues."

That's President George W. Bush, first of all, and second of all a debate wouldn't work out. Our nations have differing points of view on what constitutes a fact. The Iranian nation does not support the rest of the world in regards to World War II and Hitler's motives toward the Jews. In fact, Iran does not believe that Hitler was attempting (and was almost sucessful in) decimating all the jews off the face of the planet, although it did later compare Israel to those very actions against Lebanon.

Perhaps another method of competition is in order, like Boxing? Ahmednejad, the Tanned Jacket Assailant vs. Bush, the Patriotic Defender of Freedom.

Ken Shcram posted a commentary yesterday on the Komo News website about a familiar story involving a small (perhaps holy) piece of chocolate. Schram suggests the business owner should cast a mold of this Mother Mary likeness produce her.

Chaseblogger posted a similar story/commentary on August 18, 2006, when the actuall news first broke.

". . .A sign to duplicate these chocolate mamas and mass market them to millions of consumers. Each dark chocolatey Virgin Mary will reveal caramel filling as rich and fulfilling as Old Testament prophecy. A treat so sinful that Mary's own child would not have been able to try it." - taken from previous Chaseblogger post.

Attempts by Chaseblogger to reach Ken Schram at his email have not been returned.

If christians are not elected into the United States Senate, politicions will make sinful acts like abortions and gay marriages legal. At least, that's what Rep. Katherine Harris of Miami, FL thinks.

Harris recently said in an interview that the idea of separation of church and state is "a lie we have been told," and that separating the two is "wrong because God is the one who chooses our rulers."

In Harris' defense and in an attemtp to save face, her campaign released a statement claiming Harris had only been "speaking to a Christian audience, addressing a common misperception that people of faith should not be actively involved in government."

Yes, Rep. Katherine Harris of Miami, Fl, people of faith should definately be involved in government. Just not you.

The alien scientology baby of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes will finally be seen in the October issue of Vanity Fair. The images of Lil' Cruise-Holmes, photographed by Annie Leibovitz over a reportedly 21 day shoot required some serious retouching. Perhaps to ensure that the baby "looks just like Tom and Katie?"

Celebrity Baby Blog is asking its readers to share wether or not they plan on buying the October issue. Wouldn't the more pressing and important question be, "Where did Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes buy a baby?"

John Mark Karr's father and half brother blindly attempted to defend his innocence despite his own confession and more than bizzarre statements and mannerisms.

"I think that John has definitely been misunderstood," said half-brother and non-sex offending child murderer, Nate Karr. "He has never done anything to a young child.He may care overly for children as some people do, but he would never do anything to hurt a child, or molest a child or anything like that."

Karr (the killing one) has already confessed of the crime to the Associated Press.

"I am so very sorry for what happened to JonBenet. was with JonBenet when she died,” Karr said. “Her death was an accident.” When asked if he was innocent of the crime, Karr said: “No.”

Northern Band was a struggling boy band working the West Bank wedding circuit until some recent help from chief Hezbollah guerilla, Hassan Narallah. The band re-wrote the lyrics to their song, "Lebanon Hawk," to hone in on the popularity of Nassralah amongst Palestinians.

The song is receving mass air time including ring tones and email distribution. Alaa Abu al-Haija, lead song-writer and manager of the grouyp says that whatever the people want, they will give. Thus further proving the point that the real rock star money only comes from selling out. Even when selling out to massive terrorist organizations.

Instant fame has its down sides. Critics have already begun to speculate that Northern Band member, Ah Geeb al-Reechround is the gay one.

The season 13 premier of Survivor is gaining quite the buzz in the blogging community. Producer Mark Burnett announced this morning that the new show, set in the Cook Islands, will start off in four teams divided by race. While the over-all reaction to this format is appears to be sour, it may just end up making this the best season of Survivor yet.

The teams will be named the White Tribe, the African-American Tribe, the Asian Tribe, and Hispanic Tribe. What a great way to unite different races and overcome stereotypes. Think of all the times history has proven to su that racially motivated competitions have turned out in everyone's favor. There was Veitnam, World War II, and the Civil War for starters and everyone involved in those competitions get along great now.

This article really isn't going to answer that question but a company called Advanced Cell Technology is working on it.

Recently published in Nature, the A.C.T. study claims to have used two to three-day-old human embryos to produce stem-cell lines, leaving the embryos themselves intact and in most cases able to survive. In other cases, the embyros would not survive and in those cases A.C.T would be commiting mass genocide. That is, if you fall in suit with the standard conservative minority.

More importantly, the question needs to be asked, "When are we all getting our flying suits and teleporters?"

Can Tom Cruise get so wierd that one of the world's largest Hollywood entites would sever its longstanding relationship with the mega-star? Yes.

"As much as we like him personally, we thought it was wrong to renew his deal," said Sumner Redstone in the Wall Street Journal. "His recent conduct has not been acceptable to Paramount."

Aren't Scientologists at Cruise's OT level supposed to have complete "cause" over themselves, matter, and their surroundings? I guess not. Don't even ask him about time travel.

According to a study by the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, gay characters appearing on television this season have reduced from last year. A fabulous 1.4 percent of all tv characters were homosexual last year. This year it is a mere 1.3.

This one percent difference can only be interpreted to mean that our nation has become .1 percent less gay. Finally, some progress. Although, some tv personalities were not included in the study. Reality shows like Project Runway (with 100 percent of the participants being gay to some capacity) and Rosie O'Donell on the View were not counted.

Mary Lambert, a sunday school teacher of 54 years, was given the pink slip on August 9 by The First Baptist Church of Wateron, NY. The church made its decision based upon its newly adopted "literal interpretation" of the bible including The apostle Paul's first epsitle to Timothy: "I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man. . ."

Many churches take an approach to the bible that involves both literal translations and those that take into account the cultural relevancies of that time and the reasons certain books of the bible were written. The nerd word for this approach is heurmanutics.

While a church has the religious freedom to adopt any translation they like, by and large Miss Lambert should not be too suprised by her demotion. Any church organization that has grown men still attending sunday school classes must re-think their teaching staff.

Cruz Jacinto, a kitchen worker at Bodega Chocolates, found chocolate drippings that resemble the Virgin Mary thursday. She was just starting her shift when she noticed the lump of melted chocolate accumulated under a vat.

"When I come in, the first thing I do is look at the clock, but this time I didn't look at the clock. My eyes went directly to the chocolate," Jacinto said. "I thought, 'Am I the only one who can see this?' I picked it up and I felt emotion just come over me."

Several employees have spent much time praying over the part cocoa butter, part cocoa powder, part milk, part vanilla figure. Some have even gone so far as to place candles and rose pedals around it.

"For me, it was sign," said Jacinto.

A sign to duplicate these chocolate mamas and mass market them to millions of consumers. Each dark chocolatey Virgin Mary will reveal caramel filling as rich and fulfilling as Old Testament prophecy. A treat so sinful that Mary's own child would not have been able to try it.

Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto AND Ceres, Charon, and Xena?

The International Astronomical Union (the U.N. for geeks) have created a new planetary definition in an effort to include three new planets into our solar system. The new definition would describe a planet as an object that orbits the sun but is massive enough for its own gravity to put it into a spherical shape. This is going to put too large a strain on our already strained education system.

I propose that we also define planets as having verifiable inhabitation of intelligent life. This way our children will only have to memorize the one planet in our solar system. The only planet that matters. Earth.

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmednejad has declared Hezbollah's victory over Israel and the United States. He praised the guerillas and claimed that Western influences in the Middle East have been dealt a serious blow.

Have Western influences been undermined in the wake of the recent war in the East? Are the Iranian-Syrian dreams of a Middle East free from Western influences drawing nearer. I'm not so sure.

Starbucks Stores:
United Arab Emirates
Jordan
Kuwait
Lebanon
Saudi Arabia
Turkey

Mcdonalds Restaraunts:
Egypt
Israel
Jordon
Lebanon
Pakistan


"God's promises have come true," Ahmadinejad told a huge crowd in Arbadil in northwestern Iran. "On one side, it's corrupt powers of the criminal U.S. and Britain and the Zionists ... with modern bombs and planes. And on the other side is a group of pious youth relying on God."

God and a super-sized Mcchicken Sandwhich with a venti caramel machiato. Ahmednejad may think that the west will crumble if not for eastern oil. But wait until we threaten you remove Starbucks. We'll see who's dependent on who.

A New York man, while frying pork chops in his friend's apartment, injured several small kittens after putting them in a hot frying pan. After his friend left the kitchen, the man took off his clothes and placed two small kittens in a pan with pork chops and hot oil. Wiping the kittens off on the wall and throwing them on the floor, the naked man then placed three more small kittens in his pan.

This man is either insane or he is aware of some sort pork seasoning potential that Emeril Lagasse has yet to discover. It used to be that if a friend offered to cook dinner, you may need to tell them that you don't like mushrooms or tomatos. The day has come that you must also mention to please not get naked and try to cook my kittens with dinner?

I will expect this to soon become a poster or notebook cover some day. You'll see a picture of a fat naked guy in the kitchen and these three little kittens with just heads sticking up out of the simmering frying pan. At the bottom of the picture in big bright yellow words it will say, "HANG IN THERE!"

I call it, "Anti-Gibsemtic" discrimination.

Opponents of Mel Gibson are finding it difficult to publicy vent their frusterations over his recent comments. Gibson's anit-semetic statements have over saturated the media making it difficult to even find someone who is unaware of what was said. Just in case, here's a reminder of what Gibson said to the police officer after being detained for drunk driving:

"You mother f****r. I'm going to f*** you," and ""F*****g Jews... The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world. Are you a Jew?"

Gibson foes in LA collected $40,000 to pay for a billboard sign in protest. The billboard company refused the deal. Dodger Stadium executives also denied them ad space. It's called truth in advertising. If its not true, you can't advertise it. I'm not sure what the group plans on displaying, but if its anything short of, "Mel Gibson is a bad ass who rocked in Mad Max and dominated the action movie genre in Lethal Weapon 1, 2 and 3 (not so much 4, that goes to Jet Li) then its false.

One company not having any problems turning a buck off Gibson is Scandalshirts.com. Internet users can buy t-shirts depicting a sketched image of Gibson with the yiddish word, "Schmuck," beneath.

OR-Live.com is gaining new interest in patients and exhibisionists with their webcasts of live surgeries. Viewing the streaming video online is almost like watching some bizzare form of serial killer pornography. Oooh yeah, slice that trachea open. Mmmm hmmm.

Anytime an entire week is devouted to breasts, albeit for babies to feed off of, its worthy of being blogged. The World Alliance for Breastfeeding Action kicked off its World Breastfeeding Week yesterday. WABA, easily the nation's largest protector, promoter and supporter of breastfeeding is hoping to raise awareness that babies need to eat and breasts were, in fact, created for sucking on. . .by babies who are hungry.

The Celebrity Baby Blog has a specially engorged weeklong post dedicated to World Breastfeeding Week. A few celebrities have provided images of themselves nursing their newborns. These babe-on-breast images, or BOB pics as they're called in the soft porn industries, can be seen here.

Many people complain endlessly about public breastfeeding. I'm one of them. Its awkward and makes you feel ashamed just for mistakenly glancing in the duo's direction. I have admit, in defense of these mothers, that have been much more disguted watching people feed at my local IHOP than at a baby feeding.

Editor's Note: My wife breastfed all three of my boys, so I feel it is husbandly duty to say that I fully support and encourage the benefits of breastfeeding. . . and so does my wallet.

Forgiveness is hard to give when someone rapes a child. Possibly even beyond what humans are capable of. Then again, the same can be said for raping young children.



Philip Distasio, 34, of Ohio admitted to 74 charges of child rape, drugs, and pandering obscenity to minors. Distasio claims his apartment is a religious sanctuary where smoking pot and raping kids are sacred rituals protected by civil rights laws.

"I'm a pedophile. I've been a pedophile for 20 years," Distasio told the judge. "The only reason I'm charged with rape is that no one believes a child can consent to sex. The role of my ministry is to get these cases out of the courtrooms."

The ministry he mentioned is a church called Arcadian Fields Ministries, a church Distasio claims to have founded and currently resides as the pagan friar. Considering the fact that he now finds himself in court, it would appear that he is a complete failure to fulfilling his role in this ministry. Unless that role also includes ruining the lives of small disabled and austistic boys. In which case, he was a disgusting success.

Christians are called to be forgiving and to seek forgiveness from others. Forgiveness of this magnitude requires great disciplined spiritual maturity and a kind, sincere and patient Christ-like heart. While I try daily to exhibit these qualities, I'm just not there. Not for this guy or others like him. If I can share a moment of honesty with my readers, the first thing out of my mouth when finding this news article was not about compassion and forgiveness for this lost child of God. It was, "This sh*thead can go to hell." Perhaps someday it will be the other.

Pornography

1. The explicit depiction of sexual subject
matter, especially with the sole intention of sexually exciting the viewer.

*taken from wictionary.com

Could racy Myspace ads and Victoria Secrets window displays be considered a new form of porn? XXXchurch.com founders, Craig Gross believes so.

"The new porn targets the temptation of the imagination. Just enough skin, Just enough seduction to get lost in the lust of imagination."

Maxim magazine covers and MTV programming are other examples of how low the bar of marketing standards have been set.

What's worse, this new porn targets children and teens under the age of 18. There are no laws restricting it and no sociological influence to look away. This new porn just sits and waits for our children to discover it, lust for it, and its thrusted to the frontline of all media outlets simply because is sells.

Colbert Analyzes Wikipedia

Stepehn Colbert, of the Colbert Report, has identified the true potential and fact-creating power that is the Wikipedia.

Mel Gibson taught us all how not to live our lives last week when he verbally assaulted his local police departement. . .oh, and all Jews everywhere. Gibson's harsh words can easily be found on every news organization's front page. Chaseblogger, however, will focus on the example he is currently setting. One this entire world could stand to learn. Admit your wrong-doings and ask the person or persons involved to forgive you. The World Wide Web, being a branch of the media, is largely liberal and will certainly not give much credit to Gibson's recent words. Please take the time to read and learn how its done.

"There is no excuse, nor should there be any tolerance, for anyone who thinks or expresses any kind of Anti-Semitic remark. I want to apologize specifically to everyone in the Jewish community for the vitriolic and harmful words that I said to a law enforcement officer the night I was arrested on a DUI charge.

I am a public person, and when I say something, either articulated and thought out, or blurted out in a moment of insanity, my words carry weight in the public arena. As a result, I must assume personal responsibility for my words and apologize directly to those who have been hurt and offended by those words.

The tenets of what I profess to believe necessitate that I exercise charity and tolerance as a way of life. Every human being is God’s child, and if I wish to honor my God I have to honor his children. But please know from my heart that I am not an anti-Semite. I am not a bigot. Hatred of any kind goes against my faith.

I’m not just asking for forgiveness. I would like to take it one step further, and meet with leaders in the Jewish community, with whom I can have a one on one discussion to discern the appropriate path for healing.

I have begun an ongoing program of recovery and what I am now realizing is that I cannot do it alone. I am in the process of understanding where those vicious words came from during that drunken display, and I am asking the Jewish community, whom I have personally offended, to help me on my journey through recovery. Again, I am reaching out to the Jewish community for its help. I know there will be many in that community who will want nothing to do with me, and that would be understandable. But I pray that that door is not forever closed.

This is not about a film. Nor is it about artistic license. This is about real life and recognizing the consequences hurtful words can have. It’s about existing in harmony in a world that seems to have gone mad." - Mel Gibson