Myspace.com has launched a new profile page to help increase voter registration. Users can register to vote at myspace.com/declareyourself as well as add and forward the page to their friends.

"Putting the simplest voter registration tool on a platform that already reaches 54 million unique monthly visitors is a huge step in promoting civic engagement," says MySpace's senior vice president for public affairs, Jeff Berman. "This is where people are spending their time. The potential is enormous."

Unfortunately, Myspace has no control over the quality of the candidates of whom users are registering to vote for.

Deutsche Oper Berlin director, Kirsten Harms, has caved into the terrorizing effects of Muslim extremeists by canceling a production of Mozart's "Idomeneo." The opera depicted a scene of the severed head of Muhammad, the Muslim prophet.

The decision was made late Monday after security officials warned of "incalculable" risks as result from that scene. In a related story, Timmy the fourth grader was able to buy milk today after refusing attempts by Jad the sixth bully to take his money.

Joe Francis, founder of the company that produces the "Girls Gone Wild" videos, pleaded guilty to failing to document the ages of the young women being featured. Francis will have to pay a $500,000 fine.

Underage girls who appear in the videos have lied about their age to the company, according to Francis' attourney, Aaron Dyer. By their own admission, the company is producing child pornography but defend themselves on the basis that they were unware of the wild going girls' true age.

Any judge that accepts this plea deal is setting a precedent for pedophiles across the nation to declare that they just didn't know that the girl they intoxicated and then pursuaded to take her clothes off on camera and sign a waiver while under the infulence was lying about her age. What were they supposed to do?

All the materials should be recalled on the basis of containing possible child pornongraphy and the company in question should have all of its assests frozen until proper sentancing can occur. Francis should not be paying a mere $500K, he should be serving no less than 15 to 30 years in prison. Legal Basis for this claim.

Joe Francis - Occupation, Evildoing

Mel Gibson is making headlines, once again. While promoting his new film, "Apocalypto," Gibson made a parallel comparison between his movie about the fall of the Mayan civilization and the current path of our country.

“The precursors to a civilization that’s going under are the same, time and time again,” Gibson said.

Gibson envisions our nations decline into what can only be called a devastated post-apoclypse wasteland, where nomadic inhabitants will be fighting and killing over the now-priceless commidity - gasoline.

Oh wait, that's the plot summary for Mad Max.

The Food and Drug Administration have finally been able to link a recent outbreak of the e. coli bacteria to a California company's fresh spinach. Consumers have been warned to avoid eating any and all uncooked spinach products nationwide until the cause can properly be determined.

"When we see a situation like this we have to think all the way from the farm to the table and look at every step in the manufacturing process to find out what ultimately is the root cause," said Dr. Julie Gerberding, director of the Centers for Disease Control

While U.S. officials have declared tampering not to be a likely cause, the Chaseblogger number one suspect (and who continues to remain at large) is Bluto.

Apparently, beta is greek for crap. Sadly, my show will not air tonight due to techinal issues over at BTR. 10 minutes to air-time I realized that my show length was set for only 15 minutes. Not wanting to be cut off half way into the show, I edited the segment details. In doing so, the BTR Nazi programmers decided that whenever a host makes an edit to a show, the show will also be pushed ahead one day and that the automatic date change shall not be able to be fixed. Awesome!

Since my true craft is crafting writing and not radio hosting in the first place, please accept what would probably have been the transcript of my show. . .



Hey everybody, thanks for tuning in to Chaseblogger Live! It's Friday September 15, 2006 and I've got a great show for you! If you'd like to call in you can reach the show at (347)996-3872 (don't call this number if you're reading this right now.) You can also fire up the MSN Messenger and IM me at Chaseblogger@hotmail.com.

It's almost Fall and I'm very excited. Not because of cooler weather or for my birthday in November, but for the New Fall TV Line-up! I'm talking about Desparate Housewives (the wysteria has always been my favorite flower and now lane), I really like Boston Legal (nobody can walk down law office halls in slow motion like James Spader). But none of these compare to the show that only 2 people in the world don't watch, and that's Lost. Yes, I admit it. I am a sucker (nerd) for this show. I almost got into the whole interactive online "Lost Experience," but turns out I'm just not nerdy enough for it.

I watched the premier of Survivor last night though and even though there was some fuss about the producers dividing everyone on groups by race, it's pretty much remarkably similar to every other Survivor season I've ever seen. The final immunity/reward challenge was dripping with stereotypes though. It was pretty subtle and hard to catch but they were there and gave definate advantages to each tribe. First the tribes had to paddle a boat to the into the water (the cuban/domincan tribe), then they lit torches on fire to be used later to burn up/destroy foreign artifacts (caucasion tribe), then they had to row ashore and run onto the beach (african-american), and then finally climb to the top where you had to cut up raw fish, roll it in white rice and wrap in sea-weed (asian tribe). That last one wasn't as subtle.

I can tell you what show shouldn't be on tv and that's Mind of Mencia. One, because Carlos Mencia is not funny and two because the show is not funny. I believe that the only reason Comedy Central gave this guy his own show is because they were losing Dave Chapelle and knew that Carlos would tape more episodes than Chapelle show per season, but for significantly less pay.

Because he's mexican.

I shouldn't say I don't like Carlos Mencia though. Because I do. But by like him I mean that I like his heritage. Well, by like his heritage I mean that I like to go to the taco truck by my office for lunch sometimes. Asada burrito for 4.25, Carlos? That deal is mucho bueno (which I think means good.)

Let's take a call!

Caller: Hey, I think you're wrong about Carlos Mencia, he's freakin awesome! Dee dee dee!

Me: That's an interesting point, Caller. I think you should change your mind though and agree with me. Because I'm right on this one.

Caller: Ok. I agree with you.

(click.) (I'm just guessing that it will make a click sound when a caller hangs up)


I do like that Dateline program where they lure in child predators though. I hate that there are child predators, but it makes for great tv. They've been using Myspace to attract these creeps and that reminds me that somebody I know who is pretty wierd recently got their own Myspace. I won't say any specific names, just that I call this person, Mom. . . it's my mom.

I'm just suprised that she figured it out first of all because my mom is unique. And when I say unique I mean pretty crazy. Just last week my parents came over for dinner I was in the kitchen making some coffee with my french press (because I really enjoy a hot cup of joe from my french press as I am at this moment). My mom was really fascinated with the french press and asked that explain how it works. I told her that you just put in some scoops of coffee and then add boiling water. After about 3 minutes you push down the plunger and separate the grounds from the coffee and viola! Coffee. She told me the other great thing about it is that if the power goes out I'll still be able to make some coffee. I said sure, if go in the backyard and make a small bon-fire to boil up some water first.

My mom had also told me once that she suffers from a rare allergy that only 4% of americans suffer from ( I don't if anyone really does but apparently she does). She said to me that she is actually allergic to her body's own epinephrine (adrenaline). Ever since she told me this in high school I've been dreaming up ways to have my mom discover a baby trapped under a car on her way over to visit me. Not a real baby though, a fake will do.

Listners wanting to call-in can do so at (347)996-3872 or you can still IM me at Chaseblogger@hotmail.com (not really, I'm still just typing this. If you forgot why read the top of this blog.)

It's time for headlines!

Details are scarce, but publicist Nancy Seltzer has just confirmed to the Associated Press that Whitney Houston has filed for divorce from her husband Bobby Brown. Hollywood is shocked.

How a turn of events in this marriage could ever had lead to divorce we may never know. Anyone able to have predicted that this marriage was going to fail would likely have also been the only person who could have guessed that Lance bass is gay.

Seltzer will not reveal the time or location that the divorce papers were filed, nor will she confirm whether or not Houston plans to continue using crack-cocaine.

The cult of Scientology is gearing up to unveil its newest program called Super Power. This super secret program will soon be made available at the organization's meca in Clearwater, Florida where the purpose will be to enhance or strengthen the human senses. Not just the five sense we're used to (seeing, hearing, smellling, tasting and feeling) but also the 52 additonal senses that group founder L. Ron Hubbard made up. These senses include: an ability to discern relative sizes, blood circulation, balance, compass direction, temperature, gravity and an "awareness of importance and unimportance." Without having personally attended such a seminar my heightened sense of awareness is already detecting bull-sh*t.

Scientology teaches that any person who thinks critically towards the church is an SP, or Suppressive Person. These SP's are, according to Hubbard's teachings, are supposed to be debated, decieved, sued, lied to, and in some cases even destroyed. Shouldn't this qualify each Scientology center to likened to a terrorist cell group? If so, then Scientology has graduated from training terrorists to creating super villains.

In the excersize to help hone one's ability to discern relative sizes, participants will be place in a large room with various sized chairs. Some chairs large enough for a giant and some to small for even the smallest child. Also, who needs to pay exuberant sums of money in order to strengthen your awareness of importance or unimportance? That's what MTV is for.

After a release of a recent photo of John Travolta planting a wet kiss on another man's lips one of the senses apparently not included on Hubbard's super power training course. . .Gay-dar.

It's time to wrap things up. Thanks for listening (reading). Be sure mark down on the calander my Oct. 6 and 11th shows when I'll be chatting with funny man, Kyle Cease! Also check out my almost-updated-daily blog at Chaseblogger.

Have a great weekend!

Details are scarce, but publicist Nancy Seltzer has just confirmed to the Associated Press that Whitney Houston has filed for divorce from her husband Bobby Brown. Hollywood is shocked.

How a turn of events in this marriage could ever had lead to divorce we may never know. Anyone able to have predicted that this marriage was going to fail would likely have also been the only person who could have guessed that Lance bass is gay.

Seltzer will not reveal the time or location that the divorce papers were filed, nor will she confirm whether or not Houston plans to continue using crack-cocaine.

The cult of Scientology is gearing up to unveil its newest program called Super Power. This super secret program will soon be made available at the organization's meca in Clearwater, Florida where the purpose will be to enhance or strengthen the human senses. Not just the five sense we're used to (seeing, hearing, smellling, tasting and feeling) but also the 52 additonal senses that group founder L. Ron Hubbard made up. These senses include: an ability to discern relative sizes, blood circulation, balance, compass direction, temperature, gravity and an "awareness of importance and unimportance." Without having personally attended such a seminar my heightened sense of awareness is already detecting bull-sh*t.

Scientology teaches that any person who thinks critically towards the church is an SP, or Suppressive Person. These SP's are, according to Hubbard's teachings, are supposed to be debated, decieved, sued, lied to, and in some cases even destroyed. Shouldn't this qualify each Scientology center to likened to a terrorist cell group? If so, then Scientology has graduated from training terrorists to creating super villains.

In the excersize to help hone one's ability to discern relative sizes, participants will be place in a large room with various sized chairs. Some chairs large enough for a giant and some to small for even the smallest child. Also, who needs to pay exuberant sums of money in order to strengthen your awareness of importance or unimportance? That's what MTV is for.

One of the senses apparently not included on Hubbard's super power training course. . .Gay-dar.

Katie Holmes vents her frusterations in the upcoming issue of Vanity Fair while showing off the much sought after Baby Suri Cruise.

"Some of the crap that's out there. . .it's really frustrating. . . You shouldn't say that about us, and you can't say that about my child," says Cruise's baby machine.

That would be a fair and warranted comment if Holmes were addressing a single person or small group of people making such accusations and spreading the gossip. Unfortunately for her, Holmes is really addressing most of the mainstream media, comics, cult experts, talk show hosts, and everyone in my company's lunch room. When enough people agree on certain events or details, it becomes fact. That's Wikiality.

Holmes says that it all eats away at her (like the persistant brainwashing question of a Scientologist Auditor.)

"To see how someone as caring and good as Tom is—to see how things can just get so twisted and turned around. I mean, where does it come from?" asks the other half of Tomkat.

Well there was that sudden engagement, the bizarre new best friend of yours who also happens to be a highly ranked scientologist following you around EVERYWHERE, your fiance's slanderous comments toward Brook Shields and Matt Lauer during the pyschiatric medicine-gate scandal, the - wait, you are you right? Have you been paying attention to your life the past year?

Hosted By: Chase Roper
When: Friday Sep 08, 2006
at 11:00 PM
Where: www.BlogTalkRadio.com
The Internet
Lacey, AL 98513
US
Description:
Chase Roper

Click Here To View Event

Hi Everybody!

This Friday is the Premier of Chaseblogger Live! I've been getting alot of great feedback and I'm very excited about the entertainment I have to offer in translating Chaseblogger to a Weekly Radio format.

The show will premier this Friday at 11pm and you can find it at this link: BlogTalkRadio.com. The broadcast is in fact live but not on an actuall radio station. You'll have to use the internet. I will be talking about what the heck is going in the world each week and would actually love to have all of you as not only listeners but as callers as well!

You can check out the show first on Fridays at 11pm or listen at your leisure to the podcasts after I air.

Again, you can reach it from the top of my profile or just follow this link:



I look forward to hearing from all of you,

Chase Roper
chaseblogger@hotmail.com
http://readchaseblogger.blogspot.com

In the upcoming Sept. 4 issue of Newsweek, Beliefwatch.net answers some readers' questions about proper religious etiquette. While the answers were well educated and informative, they were not as simplistic and wise as they ought to have been. Here are the better answers (my own answers(now I don't know where to place the colon and I ended up with a second set of paranthesis)):

I'm not that religious, but our baby is having a Roman Catholic baptism. We're friends with a very loving couple who are not Catholic. Can we ask them to be our baby's godparents? Of course you can. The title commonly referred to as "God Parents" has come to simply mean, "these are the people who I want to raise my child if my spouse and I meet some horrible fate and die." That person or persons should probably be most likely to make similar parental decisions to your own and be willing or already have developed a relationship with your child's extended family.

I'd like to wish my Jewish boss a "blessed" Rosh Hashana, but I'm not sure if that's the appropriate way to say it. Should I say, "Have a nice Rosh Hashana," or what? Rosh Hashana is one four of the Jewish "new years." The Torah (old testament people) refers to it as "The Day of the Blowing of the Shafar." Traditionally you could really impress your boss by blowing into a rams horn at work and wish him "ketiva ve-chatima tovah" (May You Be Written and Sealed for a Good Year.) Acknowledging this new year opens a flood gate to a miriad of other Traditional Jewish holidays. Just be sure you're ready to take on that kind of responibility.

I frequently receive forwarded e-mails that ask me to pass them along "if you love the Lord." The implication is that a good person would send the e-mail on. What should I do? Ask yourself this question, "Do you love the Lord?" Of so, you should know that He work through any means necessary to reach His lost children. As tacky as it sounds, this does also include spam chain letters. By forwarding on these emails you are evangelizing in the most simplist and time effective ways. Someday, someone may fall upon that email with the cute story and it may actually seriously touch them. Forward the email.

Sub-for-Santa, a nonprofit organization I work with, donates gifts to families in need every December. This year we're "adopting" a Jehovah's Witness family. I know Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate holidays, but is it OK to wrap the gifts we purchased in a nonholiday wrapping paper? Yes.