During the last season of Comedy Central's "The Colbert Report," Stephen Colbert defined a new word, "Wikiality." Colbert defined "wikiality" as "truth by consensus" (rather than fact), modeled after the approval-by-consensus format of Wikipedia. Watch the video* below to see why Microsoft has created the need for a new word, "wikilobbying."
Ever wonder what in the world the "American Idol" judges are drinking out of those Coke cups? After sitting through just a fraction of the contestants that they have to endure (and I watch it on my DVR so I can fast forward the obnoxious ones)I definitely find myself in need of a stiff drink.
Randy Jackson told Access Hollywood last week that they in fact are drinking nothing more than water or other caffeinated Coke products. As far as alcoholic beverages, Jackson swears, "There's nothing in the Coke cups!" Although Paula Abdul's on screen behavior speaks otherwise.
Also, there was no speaking of the word "dawg" on last night's stop in B-Ham Alabama. So check back tomorrow for part 6 of Chaseblogger's 42 part internet phenomenon.
De Jesus, who also sort of looks like William Jung
Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda (yes all one name) is the leader of the Growing Grace International Ministry. He oversees 300+ congregations in several countries and boasts over 100,000 followers. Oh, and just last week he declared himself to be the Antichrist and had "666" tattooed on his arm.
Originally, back in the 70's, De Jesus claims he awoke from sleep to a vision of two men declaring announcing the arrival of the Lord at which point he says the Lord, "came to me and integrated with me." Throughout the 80's, De Jesus kept the whole "I'm Jesus Christ" thing quiet while pastoring and sharing his doctrine: that under a new covenant with God, there is no sin and no Satan, and people are predestined to be saved. Saved from what, exactly? Who needs saving if the world is already rid of all evil???
It wasn't until two years that De Jesus finally declared himself the Christ. That is, of course, until recently (as mentioned above) that he explained that as the second coming of Christ, he rejects the continued worship of Jesus of Nazareth. The official Growing in Grace website still only refers to him as Christ the man.
A quick glance at the Growing in Grace website also shows this promise: That EVERY religion including Catholics, Protestants, Jews, Mormons, etc, will end, because their leaders are corrupt and are teaching expired doctrine. Interesting choice of words; expired.
If accept that God is all knowing, eternal, and incapable of error, or sin - then you would also have to accept that the bible is the infallible word of God (without error, deceit, etc.)That being the case, there would be no expiration date as that would directly imply that one of the truths of God were not so. If De Jesus were Jesus incarnate, he certainly would not declare that God (himself) is a liar. In effect, De Jesus has counter intuitively dismantled his own claims and I would also like to mention that I think he's asshole.
Jermaine Jackson (Muslim) wants his famous brother, Michael Jackson (famous pedophile) to convert to Islam.
"Michael, I feel, needs to become a Muslim because I think it’s a great protection for him," says Jackson (the Muslim one.)
Apparently, the great nation of Islam is akin to a Jersey neighborhood overpopulated with mobsters.
“There’s a strength and protection there,” Jackson added (still the Muslim one.) “I was the reason why he [the child loving Jackson] had gone [to Bahrain] because I wanted him to get out of America. . ."
Jermaine thinks Micheal should be some place where "it’s peaceful and quiet and people pray five times a day which is beautiful."
Interestingly, Michael also thinks that a peaceful quiet environment where he can pray five times a day is essential. As long as he gets to pray on small children.
This concept is something I have been obsessing over for years (by obsessing I mean that I've mentioned my great idea to people on several occasions.) Finally, someone has developed the food product of my dreams. When you are down, he'll pick you up - Dr. Robert Bohannon. The good Dr., who is also Vice President of MEDTOX Diagnostic and holds his doctorate in Molecular Virology from The Baylor College of Medicine as well as a B.A. in Molecular, Cellular, and Developmental Biology wants us to take a drink from his special cup (cups that are actually pastries) Buzz Donuts. and Buzzed Bagels.
These baked goods, according to Dr. Bohannon, contain the caffeine equivalent of about two cups of coffee. He also says the he has developed a way to add caffeine to these pastries without the bitter taste of the caffeine. According to the official website, the patents on these products are still pending and are not yet available on the market.
Dr. Robert Bohannon - he's a man you must believe, helping everyone in need.
Daktoa Fanning's new movie, "Hounddog," premiered at the Sundance Film Festival this week with rough reviews. Both the movie's producer's, director, even Fanning's parents have been caught under fire and deservingly so.
"Hounddog," is serious coming of age 60's era story about a girl growing up in the South. At point in the film, 12-year-old actress Fanning's character, is raped by an adult actor's character while another 12-year-old actor's character watches. Although the team behind the project defend the scene by saying it is brief, darkly lit and does not show any nudity, I have to jump on the upset bandwagon on this one. I feel that accepting money for your tweleve year old child or employee (depending on who we're talking about here) to allow her herself to be "pretend raped" on film is deplorable (also shameful.)
In Quentin Tarantino's 1992 film, "Reservoir Dogs," there is a scene in which a bank robber cuts off the ear of a kidnapped police officer that is strapped to a chair with a mouth covered in duct tape. Tarantino, obviously going for Scorsese-esque violence, shot the scene both showing the ear being sliced off and having the camera pan away to an empty part of the room while the audience is forced to listen to what is taking place. The latter scene made to the finished product because it was more emotionally affecting. This is the technique I believe "Hounddog" director, Deborah Kampmeier should have employed.
With most major production companies backing away, it is not likely that this film will get a major theater release let alone an Oscar nod in 2008. I would be suprised if it ends up anything else than a limited dvd release with a large mandated disclaimer stuck to the front (which is far more than it deserves.)
Sadly, Randy Jackson failed to utter a single "dawg" during last night's New York auditions. However, we did get to hear Isadora, the crazy orgasming country girl.
Next week the gang is off to Birmingham and then ending in L.A.!
Episode 4 Total: Zero Dawgs
David Miscaviage, the Chairman of the Board of the Religious Technology Center (an organization formed to preserve, maintain and protect the Scientology religion according to its homepage)has declared that Tom Cruise is the "Christ" of Scientology. Apparently, this claim is supported not only by the fact that Cruise has been chosen to spread the word this "faith" throughout the world, but also,
“Like Christ, he’s been criticized for his views. But future generations will realise he was right.”
According to the European tabloid, "The Sun," Miscaviage believes that in the future, Cruise will be worshiped like Jesus for his work to raise awareness of the "religion." What Miscaviage has completely failed to comprehend here in regards to any parallels to Jesus Christ (which assuredly there are none) is that Jesus is not worshiped for raising awareness of a religion. Jesus is worshiped for being the only son of God (who exists in three parts: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit), for walking amongst us and living a life free of sin, dieing on the cross and then raising Himself from the dead so that anyone who would accept His death and resurrection as a living sacrifice for their sins will not die but have eternal life and be saved from a life separated from God.
It should also be pointed out that Scientology believes that a Galactic Lord Xenu originally populated our planet with aliens called, Thetans. Xenu forced these Thetans to watch a series of movies that implant false memories of the history of our planet. These false histories include both the Old and New Testaments. Which means Miscaviage is knowingly referring to something that he believes never happened. Hhhm, denying Christ's authority and claiming another will be worshiped in His place? Perhaps all the Anti-Christ theorists overlooked a possible candidate.
One can only hope that other Scientologists will feel angered beyond control over claims that Tom Cruise could somehow be greater that the cult founder L. Ron Hubbard (much the like the Pharisees felt towards Jesus) and decide to have crucified (or the scientological equivalent.) Then when Tom Cruise fails to come back to life the matter will be settled.
+ 
Miss USA, Tara Conner, was released from rehab yesterday to little welcoming. Conner was offered a "Coming Out" party by the New York nightclub, "Stereo," but a pageant spokeswoman has shot them down. "Stereo" is the same club that Conner reportedly over-endulged in underage drinking and all around debauchery with former Miss Teen USA, Katie Blair.
"Tara Conner will not be at Stereo for a coming-out party — or any party at Stereo, for that matter," the pageant spokeswoman said.
But was the month long stint in rehab enough for Conner for clean up and improve her image? No. Not for me. I feel the best thing Conner could have done in this situation to show she COULD BE a role model for young women (because frankly she's not) would have been to return her crown, resign as Miss USA and then enter into rehab privately. This would have spoken volumes more to her fans than begging and pleading for the second chance to do right. It wasn't about wether or not she should get a second chance at being Miss USA so she can prove that she has the ability to not make the choices she did before, but rather to show the world that is now carefully watching her every move that is a better woman than that. 30 days in rehab does not accomplish that goal.
January 18 marked a day in television history with a crossover that was hyped up by Stephen Colbert to be than "The Flinstones meet the Jetsons." Colbert, of Comedy Central's "The Colbert Report," traded show appearances with Bill O'Reilly, of Fox News' "The O'Reilly Factor." It was refreshing to experience O'Reilly on t.v. without his usual confrontational style that leaves the audience feeling uncomfortable.
Andy Dehnart of MSNBC feels the that the apprearances were "epic" and were "more fizzle than sizzle."
"Had they both stayed true to who they are on their own shows, but not when they appeared as a guest on the other's program, we might have actually learned something. Instead, the two appearances came across mostly as a lark, a promotional stunt designed to help both hosts and hurt neither," Dehnart wrote in his commentary.
"I was hoping for some real grilling. The whole show should have been about it. I was kind of disappointed I hope he gets him on his show again to do it," Rob, Greenwood, NJ.
"Colbert's more act than real. . . For a guy whose character idolizes O'Reilly, did you really expect him to go at it with (O'Reilly)?" The Word, Marquette, MI.
Shawn Hornbeck, who was kidnapped four years ago and recently found by authorities, was interviewed last night along with his parents on Oprah Winfrey's talk show late yesterday afternoon.
Shame on you Oprah Winfrey. You landed yourself an interview with Shawn Hornbeck and his parents. Although the parents expressed that experts have advised them not directly ask their son about the details or events of his life while living with his captor, you pressed ahead with questioning. At one point during your interview, you asked Shawn if had ever tried to email his parents and he asserted that he did not want to talk about that. He drew a line, Oprah, and you leaped over it.
You followed up with stating that "the tabloids" are saying this. . . IS that what happened? He just said he didn't want to talk about it! Here you have a 15 year-old young man who was KIDNAPPED when he was 11 and has lived (most presumably) under intense mental and sexual anguish (maybe even torture) for FOUR FREAKING YEARS and you're button hooking the poor kid into answering what he just said he didn't want to answer.
Hornbek parents, don't think you're off the hook either. Your son has been returned alive and he's probably a psychological ticking time bomb. Bill O'Rielly is trying to lay partial blame on Shawn for not doing anything to free himself or the other boy, and you've voluntarily placed him right in the middle of this media frenzy by allowing him to appear on all these nation-wide television shows. Let him adjust for crying out loud! The poor guy. Or is that the show producers come a calling with their wallets wide open and you just can't help but to forsake your son's well being and help re-adjust to life for some extra cash??
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Episode 2 Total - 1 Dawgs
(plus 3 honorary Dawgs from Kenneth "Bush Baby" Briggs of Renton, WA.
Wow, Randy must really be focusing his attention on not saying Dawg. But it did slip once last night while the judges were forced to experience the wonder and beauty that is Native Seattle. However, I have to say that several of the featured "talents" did not even hail from Seattle.
This brings our weekly and current season total to 2 Dawgs. Check back next week as the unofficial Dawg count continues.
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It was a Friday night and my best friend and I were strolling into a local "hole-in-the-wall" bar (called, Swanees) in Pioneer Square (I‘m guessing named for the pioneers who discovered it). In just a few minutes a small inconspicuous door would open to the patrons of this bar and lead us down a narrow staircase to The Seattle Comedy Underground . The walls were plastered with the faces of comedians of past who have gone on to either fame or absolute obscurity. “So you actually know the headliner from school?” asked one stranger behind me to another. The headliner tonight is somewhat of a local comedic hero.
We were seated at the very front left corner of the stage (front right to the performers). The stage itself was a carpeted 10 foot wide square and the backdrop (of course) a brick wall with a Seattle scenery painted on. The tables were too small, the seating was crowded, and the food (bar food) was over priced. But none of that mattered because we were soon going to be laughing - and hard.
The opening comics warmed us up very well but not enough that I could remember all their names a day later (with the exception of Courtney Cronin). Finally, it was time. "You won't believe the list I have on this guy. . . 10 Things I Hate About You. . . Slow Clapper. . . top selling comedy album in the nation. . .Kyle Cease!" Kyle took the stage and the crown took to clapping and hollering. "Yeah! More than that shit bitches. You're very excited to see me, I'm in movies. Two of them!" While we were already clapping pretty loudly (not just my friend and I, but the audience in general) it got louder. We agreed - he was funnier that (and our previous clapping was kind of shitty.)
Kyle immediately demonstrated his hilarious and chameleon-like ability to impersonate anything. Right at the start he impersonated a guy who just had a waitress hand him a burger he ordered, the hamburger itself, the plate that the hamburger was on, a couple napkins, and a soda. We ate it all up (the funny impersonations not the burger(except the guy the who ordered the burger, he ate up the jokes and the burger.))
Experiencing Kyle Cease live took me back to junior high days (weekends and most of summer) spent sitting on my best friend's couch while we watched t.v. and talked about how ridiculous shows, commercials, and movies can be. Eventually, those conversations would turn into a sort "inside joke" or language between just the two of us. Until now. I found that we were sitting amongst a crowd of strangers all laughing at the same type of nonsense, as if Kyle had somehow been in on those bizarre dialouges and observations years ago. We were all laughing at the same "inside jokes."
Kyle gives his shows such an intimate/personal feeling that when the hour or so is up (can't keep track of time when tears of laughter are streaming down your face) it feels as though you had just spent the evening hanging out with buddies. Kyle's unique style of comedy stems from his honesty, that he's true his own character, and genuinely likes his fans. You owe it to yourself (if you haven't already) to catch this man perform live.
Kyle is currently on tour and is nominated on Comedy Central's Stand-Up Show Down. Fans can go to www.comedycentral.com and vote for their favorite performer (pssst. Vote for Kyle) to be featured during a stand-up marathon on Jan. 28. Kyle will also be back in Seattle sometime in March of 2007 to tape a live 1 hour Stand-Up Special for the comedy station.
If you would like more information on how where Kyle Cease is performing and what he's up to, you can visit www.KyleCease.com.
Be Kyle's Friend!
Atlanta, GA -
Felicia Williams is 26 year old woman who (for some reason) decided on January 3rd that it would be a good idea to stab her two children to death. The young victims were Elexis Nicole Hill, 9, and James Ross Hill, 4.
Williams was arrested today when she was found hiding in a small apartment closet. Her mother made a plea at the children's funeral for her to turn herself in.
My heart just breaks whenever I hear or read about these kind of violent crimes happening to small innocent children. I immediately think of how much my own boys look up to and admire me with a love that truly cannot be described. The image crosses my mind of how those kids in this news story must have looked up to their mom in the same way. Last Wednesday, Elexis and James' affection and deep deep love for their mom turned into bewildered confusion, terror, helplessness, and real heart breaking sorrow as the last moments of their lives were filled with the experience of the one person on the face of the Earth that made their hearts complete purposely and maliciously inflicted horrible pain on them as they were stabbed. Assuming that Williams could not attack both children at once, one of the helpless victims would have had to watch in absolute horror as their sibling was murdered. All the while wondering in pure fear if and when Mom would turn on them.
Gruesome, I know. Morbid and depressing to think of. Knowing that this woman has a good shot at being offered a plea deal or even being found not guilty on some sort of "depression" or "insanity" claim is sickening.
There will be justice wreaked apon your soul Felicia Williams. Whether in this lifetime or beyond. mark my words.
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Donald Trump, a.k.a. The Donald, has spent the last couple weeks saturating the media with promotions for the new season of his hit show, "The Apprentice: L.A." Also, Trump has continued to relentlessly slam "View" co-host, Rosie O'Donnell over past on-air remarks.
“It’s the way I look. He can’t resist. I love when people say you’re fat like you don’t know,” O’Donnell joked today on "The View," “... It’s always the first comment of someone who disagrees with you if you happen to be on the plus side. . . The guy, he's obsessed with me obviously.”
While O'Donnel is certainly no stranger to harsh words or criticism, many of her fans may have been caught in the cross-fire. As O'Donnell described it, during a recent shopping trip, "all of these plus-size women" with "tears in their eyes" were approaching her with words of support.
“He wounded millions of women by saying that I was fat, you know?” said O'Donnell.
Trump's treacherous tirades are a bad business move to say the least. He has managed to single out and offend a specific group of women, or as they say in his world, negatively affected a large part of his market share (no pun intended.) Rosie, on the other hand, only offended The Donald with her remarks regarding his failed marriages and documented bankruptcies. In true Trump fashion, The Donald came back quick with a correction to his obese accusation that was double edged.
“I used the word ‘slob,’ I used the word ‘degenerate’ and I used the words ‘not very smart.’ The word ‘fat’ played a very small role, if any, in my description of her,” he said.
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William Autrey is a hero. The 50 year old construction worker, Navy veteran, and father of 2 little girls saved a man from being hit by a speeding train in a New York subway station. Autrey's two young daughters were at his side when he noticed a man stumbling and finally fall backwards onto the train tracks. A subways was fast approaching. The man was 20 year old, Cameron Pollack.
"The train was coming in just like that," said Autrey as motioned toward a passing train, "The man started stumbling around and falling backwards. There was a train coming but the train was so close, I was like, 'what do I do?'"
What happened next is truly amazing.
Our hero decided the only way to save this Pollack's life would be to lay on top of him with the hopes that the train would pass directly over the both of them. Between the train tracks, there was exactly 21 inches of clearance from the ground to the train. Autrey and Pollack totaled 20 1/2 inches.
This is the kind of life God has called men to lead. A life of selflessness and courage. Thank you, William Autrey, for showing the nation just what it takes to be a good man.
Although the Lord did not specifically say the attack would be nuclear, He did tell Pat Robertson that a massive attack would take place on U.S. soil late this year. This, of course, is all according to Pat Robertson.
"I do believe it will be something like that," Robertson shared Tuesday on The 700 Club over the Christian Broadcasting Network.
Ezekiel 13:9
My hand will be against the prophets who see false visions and utter lying divinations.
Britney Spears was spotted at a Las Vegas nightclub celebrating the new year last Sunday night. Spears'manager, Larry Rudolph, found her completely asleep by about 1AM.
“By about one o’clock, she was just done, so we took her out,” Spears’ manager, Larry Rudolph, told The Associated Press Monday. “She was not drunk. She was just tired and falling asleep.”
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