I like to write humorously about my life as a dad, a husband, having a child with autism, and other unrelated non-sequitors. So that pretty much covers everything. Hope that inspires you to, you know, subscribe.
I have received numerous hits and search queries here at Chaseblogger from readers looking for gossip on 'View' co-host, Elisabeth Hasselbeck being pregnant. I am pleased to give you all the news that Hasselbeck will be announcing on t.v. today that she is three months preggo! With a baby due here in November, it must be a relief for Hasselbeck knowing that Rosie is leaving and will no longer have to worry about her baby being eaten.
Chaseblogger first report speculations that Hasselbeck was expecting back in December, when she discreetly turned down an alcoholic beverage during a taping of "The View."
Finally, a Paris Hilton news story worth commenting on. The hotel heiress will be making a scheduled appearance next month at The Capla Kesting Art Gallery in Brooklyn during a showing dedicated to raising awareness to teenagers about the dangers of drunken driving. Hilton will not be showing up in person however, but in naked sculpted art form.
As part of the gallery's interactive public service announcement, an all too lifelike sculpture of a dead (and nude) Hilton will be on the display. The piece also includes an open chest cavity with removable organs.
With all the past Hilton sex tapes that have gone public, don't you think the world has seen enough of the insides of Paris Hilton? One could argue the statue actually presents itself as one positive element to the dangers of drunken driving. Especially if Hilton is driving Lindsay Lohan around town.
Jenna Elfman has decided to chime in all the gossip over Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' supposed marriage woes like only a fellow Scientologist can. While most "inside sources" are claiming that Holmes is imprisoned in the marriage and followed around by Scientology "minders" who keep track of her daily, Elfman strongly disagrees.
"They have a great life and they love each other. For some reason, the media cannot experience that. They must put in things other than the simplicity of it," says Elfman.
Honestly, I have no problem experiencing the concept of the Cruise/Holmes marriage being strained. I also don't see why thinking of the marriage being happy rather than not happy somehow measures as more simplicit. Not that I doubt Elfman's credibility simply because she also happens to be a member of the highly and publicly criticized church of Scientology, but I doubt Elfman's credibility simply because she's also a Scientologist.
Elfman has her own history of "freaking" on people who have printed or stated their skepticism over Scientology and its members. It would serve her well to offer her public support of other high profile members.
Also, Elfman and her husband Bodhi are expecting their first baby (since people like to read that kind of stuff.)
Richard has been under fire from the "very small, right-wing, very conservative political party" over his recent public display of affection with Bollywood actress, Shilpa Shetty during an HIV/AIDS Awareness event in India. A judge in Jaipur even went so far as to issue an arrest warrant for both Gere and Shetty for violating the country's obscenity laws.
Gere released the following statement to the Associated Press today:
"What is most important to me is that my intentions as an HIV/AIDS advocate be made clear, and that my friends in India understand that it has never been, nor could it ever be, my intention to offend you. If that has happened, of course it is easy for me to offer a sincere apology."
The media is mistakenly reporting this as Gere's public apology to India but pay close attention to that last line. "If that has happened, of course it is easy for me to offer a sincere apology." All you have here is Gere announcing to AP that it would be easy for him to offer a sincere apology, if that's what he chose to do. When in fact, he's sticking to his guns and NOT apologizing just as he shouldn't.
Chaseblogger (what you're reading right now)has been nominated for Best Humor Blog in the Blogger's Choice Awards! We're all very excited even for the simple recognition, but thirst for victory at the same time. Please take the few minutes to click on the above link and help us out. Feel free to snag the code below and share it with your friends, too. Besides, don't you think its about time we all get behind something besides Global Warming and terrorism for a change?
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Both houses of Congress have given approval to a new War Spending Bill that includes a set troop withdrawal from Iraq. The proposed date is March of 2008. At this point, I am totally confused. Whether you are for or against the War or critical of the reasons we went to Iraq, there is a chain of logic in this decision that I think needs to be addressed.
By publically announcing our plan to leave Iraq on a specific date, we are letting our enemy know how much longer they have to put up us. The insurgents can either tough it out or withdraw until we leave and then go back to business. Either way, we are acknowledging that we accept the situation the way it is and that we are okay with leaving it that way. Therefore, why wait until March 2008 to leave. Leave now.
My other contingent point is that we're approving to spend billions of dollars toward this war that we have also just decided to leave. If both houses of Senate are able to agree that leaving Iraq by next year is the best thing to do (because its costing too much money, lives, etc) why in the world are they agreeing to shovel more money into that fire pit? Isn't that the same as saying, "I know this war is lost. I'm planning on leaving next year, but here's a multi-billion dollar allowance to spend there in the meantime."
This whole thing reminds me of when Moses told the Pharaoh that in order to stop the devastating plagues God unleashed unto Egypt, he need only say that the Israelites were free to go. The Pharaoh's baffling response; "tomorrow."
The yellow shirted Scientology volunteers were on campus at Virginia Tech yesterday ready to help provide counseling and support for students returning to finish the semester.
The Hubbardites set up camp about 100 yards from the memorial and directly adjacent to a separate tent set up for students grieving students to come sign memorials and pay their respect. It's maddening to me that these people can be so disillusioned and relentless in spreading this cult that they would attempt recruitment at time like this while capitalizing on the media coverage at the same time. Even West Burrow Baptist Church canceled their scheduled picket at the university.
'Another School Shooter, Another Psychiatric Drug? 28 Dead and 62 Wounded in Recent Drug-Induced School Shootings
Today's shooting rampage at Virginia Tech is being called the deadliest school shooting incident in U.S. history, with initial reports citing 32 dead and 29 wounded in the bloodiest school massacre since Columbine. The Citizens Commission on Human Rights (CCHR), a mental health watchdog that initially discovered the psychiatric drug connection in the Columbine shootings, says media and law enforcement must move quickly to investigate the Virginia shooter's psychiatric drug history -- a common factor amongst school shooters...
For more information, contact [FLAME] the Citizens Commission on Human Rights at 800-869-2247 or email humanrights@cchr.org'
VT senior Christie Weaver, a psychology major, says, "It's sick. They can leave and take the media with them."
Was Paris Hilton actually not dropping her pants in front of a night vision camera for one day that TMZ.com had to report that Scarlett Johansson tripped and fell before getting into her car?
I could see this being a somewhat amusing newsworthy item if Johansson had perhaps cracked her head on the curb, was running from Tom Cruise, or had even scraped her knee. But no. The actress tripped on a step, got up, and got in her car. So let's watch it again in frame-by-frame. . .
Singer/songwriter, Sheryl Crow, is taking to environmental activism these days. Crow just wrapped up a U.S. tour she took on a bio-diesel fueled bus to raise global warming awareness and has offered up an overlooked suggestion to help the environment.
"I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting," says Crow.
As ridiculous as that may sound, I'm glad she brought up the point. It seems that the topic of climate change has become synonymous with oil and burning fuels, when in fact you really need to take the massively bigger picture on this topic. What about toilet paper usage? What about consumerism? With so many people buying so many goods in this world each day, how are these products supposed to get from Point A to Point B, C, or D? They're transported. While outspoken advocates to live a more Green live convince us to drive hybrid cars, car pool, and shop online rather than drive to stores, all these things that are being produced at these jobs we drive to, or order on the internet are being flown and shipped all over the place. We have to consume less to make this problem go away (if it really is a problem at all, which I am not convinced it is.)
How about newspapers and magazines? Is there still a need to buy subscriptions to these things now that we can go online and read most of them for free? No. But we do anyway. That's how capitalism works. To legislate change in how we live is going to require our country to become something other than a free capitalistic society and that's just never going happen. At the end of the day, all you can sacrifice are the little things that you're just comfortable enough with parting so that you feel like you've contributed to a solution. For Sheryl Crow, its wiping with one square per sitting. Hope she avoids the taco truck.
Alec Baldwin's spokesperson says they are keeping their mouths shut over a recently leaked voice mail that Baldwin left to his daughter's cell phone earlier this week. According to Baldwin's team, the message was part of a sealed court document and was leaked out by the mother, Kim Basinger, and her lawyers in violation of a court order.
The voice mail (click here to listen) is disturbing on many levels. As a parent, I don't feel it is acceptable to ever resort to name calling. It is one thing to let your child know how disappointed you are, or how hurt your feelings are. It's another thing all together to tell your 11 year old daughter that she doesn't "have the brains or the decency as a human being..." or that she is "a rude little pig. . . a rude thoughtless little pig." And that other thing is called being an asshole.
I am also pointing my finger of blame in Basinger's direction. Sharing this voice mail with Los Angeles County Superior Court commissioner Maren Nelson has resulted in the temporary suspension of Baldwin's visitation rights. His contact and visitation might be canceled permanently at his recently set hearing for May 4. I don't feel that the public release of this recording was acting in the best interest her child however. As a mother, she must have felt horrible to hear her daughter's father speak to her so disrespectfully and hurtfully. Surely, Basinger must have understood immediately how embarrassed and humiliating it must have felt for her daughter to hear her dad say those things to her. Shouldn't she have also figured that letting the rest of the world also hear the message would effect her daughter even more?
I think its clear that these two parents have completely lost all sense of responsibility to their child and are now solely concerned on damaging the reputation of the other by way of long public legal dramas - even if it means using their daughter as a pawn.
Parents and filmmakers are dissatisfied with the Motion Picture Association of America's current movie rating system. The apparent problem is that movies like "Sideways" and "Saw" both have an R rating even though one of the movies contains extremely violent and grotesque images (hint: not 'Sideways'). Parents are growing concerned with the amount questionable material making its way into PG-13 rated films and would like the MPAA to introduce new ratings.
The proposed ideas are to include a new PG-15 or PG-16 and Hard-R movie ratings to give parents a better guideline as to what is suitable for their children. Let me apply some reasoning here. According to the MPAA, "Sideways" contains adult language, strong sexual situations and nudity and "Saw" contains grisly violence and strong language. As a parent, I know right away by reading those ratings, that I don't want my children to see either one. But what about the PG-13 ratings? Why are they containing more and more innuendos and words good parents consider inappropriate?
Filmakers never want an NC-17 rating because that equals box office death and horrible sales. The same can almost be said for the R rating. PG-13 however is golden. After a movie is made it is eventually reviewed by the MPAA, at which point they may slap on the R rating. The production company behind the film can then go through an appeals process in order to negotiate a PG-13 rating instead. Typical Hollywood politics. What is a parent to do?
Last summer, I watched the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy (PG-13, epic battle sequences and some scary images) with my son who is 7. I had previously seen these films and was aware of when I might need him to close his eye or look away. What I'm saying is that I parentally guided him through the movie. I think it is about time for parents to stop planning family movie night around which movies they would rather see and more around what is best for their child. You're a grown up now. Figure it out.
A gunmen shot and killed over 30 students at Virgina Tech this morning. After two people in a dorm room were confirmed shot, school officials relied on email to warn the university of the possible life threatening danger looming ahead rather than place the university on lock down.
"A shooting incident occurred at West Amber Johnston earlier this morning. Police are on the scene and are investigating." The email also warned students to be cautious.
While issuing the email, the still unidentified gunman entered and locked the engineering hall where he then lined up students against a wall and executed them. I guess they didn't get the email or maybe it went to their spam box. . . The bloodbath (which is now the deadliest mass shooting in U.S. history) ended when the assailant turned the gun on himself.
How was it decided that the best method of warning students of a loose crazy man with a gun on campus was to email them?
Virginia Tech President Charles Steger passed the buck to the authorities, who he claims assured him that the event was domestic and that the gunman had left the campus.
"We had no reason to suspect any other incident was going to occur," said Steger.
No reason to suspect any other incident!? You had no reason to suspect the first incident! By issuing an email warning followed by a few door knockers warning students Paul-Revere-style, you basically chose not to save 30 lives. This story is as heart wrenching and shocking as it is furiously enraging.
After his arrest last week on contempt of court charges (and being indicted in Reno on tax evasion), Joe Francis decided to reveal his true contemptness for the law. Florida court records show that Francis tried to bribe a guard for a bottle of water with $100. When the guard refused the offer, Francis flashed him $500. In his defense, I understand Francis' reasoning. Normally, flashing things at people has turned out pretty well for him - heck, besides coercing underage teen girls to perform sexually on film, it's all he knows. Unfortunately, the guard still did not bite.
Since inmates are not allowed to have cash, supervisors did decide to search Francis' cell. They found 16 prescription medications including Lunesta (sleeping aide) and the anti-anxiety medication lorazepam, according to court records. The Associated Press reported that Francis waived his right to a bond hearing and wept as his mother blew him a kiss goodbye (totally gay (Chaseblogger neither condones nor supports 'the gay' movement.))
Also arrested, was Scott Barbour, the president of Mantra Films Inc. (produces 'GGW'), for supplying the contraband items to Francis.
It is with absolute joy that I give to you the final count:
1 count of bribing a public servant. 3counts of possessing a controlled substance 5 counts of introducing restricted items into a detention facility.
All of the above counts are third-degree felonies which means Francis could be facing five years in prison. Hey, Francis, have fun starring in "Inmates Gone Wild" this fall.
Can you imagine a world where men would no longer be needed to reproduction? A world in which two women could even conceive a child together without using only the dna of both women and not a male donor? Well, soon you have to imagine that world thanks to Professor Karim Nayernia of the University of Newcastle.
The scientific chronicles of Nayernia's research say that sperm cells can be produced by taking bone marrow from men who cannot produce sperm. Theoretically, the same process could be implemented on a woman. This means, a lesbian couple could, by extracting bone marrow from one partner (the butch one) and implanting the produced sperm into the other partner (the not butch one) conceive a baby girl. How do I know it will be a girl? Because only an X chromosome sperm could be produced by a female. To create a baby boy, you would need both an X and Y chromosome.
Just because we have the technology available and couples who are already gnawing at the bit to try it out no matter what the cost, does that mean we should?
After a performance earlier this week that Simon Cowell declared was, "not horrible," Sanjaya Malakar remains on "American Idol." Viewers decided it was time for Haley Scanato, from San Antonio to pack up and head home. Although I did stop counting how many times Randy Jackson drops the d-bomb (and stopped watching the show all together) I can't seem to escape the Sanjayamania that is sweeping the media. Is it his dashing good looks, his long flowing hair, or his Peter Gallagheresque eyebrows? Either way, it looks like we have yet another week of hearing about the non-sequitors of this reality t.v. giant.
Danny Bonaduce, a recent addition to the Adam Corolla radio show and star of the hit reality program, "Breaking Bonaduce," is getting divorced. His soon to be ex-wife, Gretchen Bonaduce, filed the divorce papers this week citing irreconcilable differences. Now she's sending him Division of Assets documents to him via email while live on the air. Danny shared today that his Myspace friends (especially the females) have overwhelmed him with love support - really, he's had enough already.
"I don't want to be in your prayers," Bonaduce yelled on the air this morning, "I want to be in your pants!"
Danny added that the only way he (or any male he claims) can get over the loss of a woman in his life, is to get on top of another one.
Why the sudden call for divorce? Besides the "irreconcilable" part, Gretchen says she feels her children should not be raised in the sort of environment made infamous on their reality tv show. Yes, she's been with him through all this craziness for so long and it seems odd that she would all of a sudden decide to get the divorce, especially after Danny's one year of sobriety. However, I have always been of the opinion that there is no statute of limitations on being a good parent. I've seen the show, and can say those kids would easily thrive in a less destructive environment.
I wish all of the Bonaduces the best in this difficult time, and also want Danny to know that he WILL be in my prayers. Prayers to God that Danny Bonaduce will never be in my pants.
Joe Francis appeared before a federal magistrate yesterday and was ordered to be held without bail until his scheduled appearance before U.S. District Judge Richard Smoak. Although Francis had first publicly announced his defiance to the judge, the Francis team maintains that he was on his way to turn himself in to authorities. U.S. Marshalls spokesman Dominic Guadagnoli says that's news to them.
“We were not aware that he would be flying in in the morning. He stepped off the jet, and he was immediately arrested,” he said. “If he was coming to Panama City to turn himself in, he was a day late and a dollar short.”
Lawyers for seven women who were underage when they were filmed by his company, told Smoak that Francis became enraged during the settlement talks, shouting obscenities at the lawyers and threatening to “bury them.”
Like a months longs episode of "Maury," the "Who's Anna's Baby Daddy?" episode has finally revealed its shocking results. . . . Larry Birkhead is the father of Dannielynn. The only thing missing in this drama (besides the mom) is the overly dramatic reaction from Howard K. Stern. I was hoping to see some fisticuffs.
Perhaps, Stern could've jumped into the screen shot of Birkhead telling the press, "I told you so," and started yelling, "You don't know me!" and flipping off the media. I think that's what we were all honestly hoping for. For Stern to preemptively throw in the towel to a possible custody battle, makes the entire situation very underwhelming. Where's Prince Frederic von Anhal when you need him?
Joe Francis, founder of the "Girls Gone Wild" franchise (and my favorite man to loathe), was ordered into the custody of U.S. Marshals Thursday by U.S. District Judge Richard Smoak. The order came after lawyers said said Francis threatened their plaintiffs during negotiations. Seven women who were minors when Francis’ child pornography producing company filmed them on Panama City Beach, are suing after settlement negotiations fell through.
Francis has refused to surrender to the criminal contempt of court claim (much like he refuses to acknowledge his love for exploiting underage teenage girls and sexually assualting women on film) baffling his attorneys and said, "It is a case of a judge gone wild."
I am greatly looking forward to the day that I get to report the imprisonment of Joe Francis, which hopefully, will be any day now. Perhaps Judge Smoak will decide to make an example out of Francis by sentencing him to the fullest extent of the law, instead of the usual namby pamby celebrity sentence.
4/10/2001, UPDATE: Francis was arrested at 6:30 a.m. at the Panama City airport on a warrant seeking his arrest for criminal contempt of court. He is currently being held at the Bay County jail, a spokesman for the U.S. Marshal's Office says.
The new "My Humps" parody by Alanis Morissette hit the world wide web yesterday via YouTube. Supposedly, the video quickly beat the record for most searched video in one day (probably since the last Paris Hilton sex tape release). First of all, that's not much of a record to boast about, everybody. By tomorrow, some dude will have uploaded a new video of himself while spending the night at his friend's place and using his best friend's cat to clean up with after fooling around with his girlfriend only to have the friend mention how "stiff and spikey" the cat's hair seems the next morning while he's petting him. Next thing you know - new record.
Sadly (for Fergie), I have to say that the remake is definitely a vast improvement on the original. Much like Johnny Cash's remake of the Nine Inch Nails song, "Hurt." When I listen to Morissette's soulful voice dominate those overly simple lyrics, I can't help but notice the newly existent dimension to the song. I find myself asking, "What is she going to do with all that ass inside them jeans?" And when she belts out that she's going to make me scream, I get goose bumps.
Martin Sheen was amongst a group of 39 anti-nuclear protesters who were cited and released Sunday at a Nevada test site. The site, is where the government conducted nuclear detonations between 1951 to 1992. It is now a site for non-nuclear tests on radioactive materials.
During a time in our nation when tension between Iran and the UN has reached the level of "White Knuckle," and in the never ending wake of horrible disasters such as Chernobyl, I think Sheen's behavior is appalling. This just goes to prove that Hollywood Elites, such as Sheen, will always go against the grain of what is good and moral in this world. It is shocking to see him in a group of people actually protesting the anti-nuclear movement.
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